New Year's Eve. The question worth asking your child.

New Year's Eve with children is not the same event as New Year's Eve without them. I've done both. With children: we ate dinner at seven, watched the fireworks through the window at nine while they were technically still awake, and they were asleep by nine-fifteen. I've had worse New Year's Eves. I've had fewer memorable ones.

My daughter asked me this New Year's Eve what my plan was for next year. She was nine. She meant it practically: what am I going to do, what projects, what changes. She had recently learned the word 'resolution' from somewhere and was testing it.

I said I didn't have a specific plan. I had intentions — things I wanted to pay more attention to, things I wanted to do less of. She asked what the difference was between a plan and an intention. I said a plan has steps and a timeline. An intention has a direction.

She thought about this. Then: 'Which is better?'

I said it depends on the thing. For some things you need steps. For others you just need to know which way you're facing.

She said: I want to be kinder. Is that a plan or an intention?